I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
