So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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