I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
