Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Randomize
