it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
