so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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