My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Randomize
