You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
