well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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