Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
