I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
