If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
