I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
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