i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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