Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
