woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I licked your asshole in confidence.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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