Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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