in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
