That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
