please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
