Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
now i know why i became what i already was.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
