Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
