So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
