My room smells like vodka and shame
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
