Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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