blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
