The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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