I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
