My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
