Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
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