Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
