Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
