You're so nebulous sometimes
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I want to fling myself into the sun
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
