In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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