he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
