Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
