her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
