i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Randomize
