Where is the hickey?
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
