well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
