I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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