At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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