wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
