But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
