Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
