if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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