DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Randomize
