well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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