forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
