Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Life is so much better after having sex.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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