I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Randomize
